Having Charity for God

Last Sunday, I was blessed to speak in church with my sister and brother (the speakers called out sick with only 24 hours of notice) and our bishop (my sister’s husband) called in favors with the three people in the ward that he knew would be eager and able to speak at such short notice.  When our bishop introduced the change, he said that his other option was to call up random ward members.  I got a big “thank you!” mouthed from a friend in the congregation. 🙂  Amazingly enough, for those of you that know my family, we ended the meeting two minutes early.  But, the most wonderful part about it all, was that it was my Dad’s birthday (he would have been 69) and I wonder if he was able to be there.

I wanted to share my talk here (again, slightly altered due to the change of formats).  We were assigned faith, hope, and charity and I got to speak on charity.  Some of it ties together with the talk that I gave at my dad’s  funeral (which was on the previous post) and so I thought I’d continue the conversation here.

Charity quote

My dad had a rule at my house that we were supposed to park into our driveway backwards.  From the time that I began to drive at age 16, that family law really bugged me.  I would constantly disregard the regulation, and sometimes even needle him about it.  For example, as a young adult, I was traveling in Washington DC and found some parking stalls with a posted sign that read, “Do not back in.”  I took a a silly-faced picture with it and, of course, gave it to him.  Over the course of the next few years, I rarely ever backed into the driveway at all.

One day, in sheer exhaustion, Dad said to me, “Laryssa, don’t you respect me at all?”

It touched me.  I began to think of what a little thing it was for me to do, and what it would mean to my dad if I began to follow it.  Since then, to show my love for him, I have been regularly backing into the driveway (except for that odd occasion when I know I’m going to run in and go out again soon). 🙂 

With that story in mind, I decided to talk about a different aspect of charity, that is, having charity for Heavenly Father.  There is a story in the scriptures that always touches my heart with compassion.  It’s when the prophet Enoch is talking with God who has shown Enoch all of His creations, and then begins to weep.  Enoch can’t understand it.  He essentially says, “You are God, why would you cry? You have made all of these amazing creations, creations without number, why then, are you weeping since you are, and have, and do so much?”

“The Lord said unto Enoch: Behold these thy brethren; they are the workmanship of mine own hands, and I gave unto them their knowledge, in the day I created them; and in the Garden of Eden, gave I unto man his agency;

And unto thy brethren have I said, and also given commandment, that they should love one another, and that they should choose me, their Father; but behold, they are without affection, and they hate their own blood;” (Moses 7:32-33 emphasis added).

That idea just brings me to tears.

I am the primary chorister in our ward, and as I was trying to settle the kids down to sing the song, I am a Child of God, I told them that as a mommy, I go in every night to check on my babies.  I don’t want to wake them up, but I just love watching them sleep and thinking about how much I love them.  Then I asked the kids if they thought that maybe sometimes our Heavenly Father checked in on us from time to time, not wanting to disturb, but loving us.  Then I asked them to sing the song reverently.  A little Sunbeam (three-year-old) looked up and whispered, “Can we invite Him to come to our house tomorrow?”  That’s the faith and love of a child toward God.

But things happen as we grow into adults, which turn our hearts away and make us capable (and sometimes able) to sell God for silver and gold (see 3 Nephi 27:32).  A while ago, in a Relief Society lesson, the teacher said, “raise your hand if your life has turned out the way that you had planned.”  Not one hand went up.

So here we are, as adults, trying to deal with the plateful of mess – that combination of the consequences of our and other’s use of agency combined with the occasional “act of God” – that is our life.  In that state of disillusionment and unfulfilled dreams, we are asked to love our neighbor as ourselves and to have charity for all, as the Savior would.  When all we want to do is sit in a corner and lick our wounds, this challenge can seem daunting.

There is a way to do this (amazingly!) and it comes from something that Joseph Smith said, The nearer we get to our Heavenly Father, the more we are disposed to look with compassion on perishing souls; we feel that we want to take them upon our shoulders, and cast their sins behind our backs” (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith [2007], 428–29, emphasis added).

When we go through these experiences, we learn a measure of compassion that we could have gained in no other way.  As we draw near to our Father in Heaven, humbly submitting to His will even as a child doth submit to his father (see Swallowed up in the Will of the Father) we can learn those things that give us charity, and at the same time, draw from the source of all Light and Truth. But submission requires obedience, and as Elder Shayne M Bowen stated, (when talking to his children) “I don’t want to answer ‘why,’ I just want you to do it because you love me.”

So, perhaps we should pick our “parking in backwards” item, the thing that we hold back from our Father in Heaven, and begin to submit in that area, simply because we love and respect Him.  Then, as we have charity for Him, we will be endowed with the ability to love our brothers and sisters.


Yielding our Hearts to God

Today was Stake Conference, and I felt so edified by our Stake President, John McConkie’s talk, that I felt the need to share part of it here. He began by discussing the fact that we all needed to learn to balance our time so that we could enjoy the things that our Heavenly Father has given us to enjoy while we are here on earth. We are supposed to have entertainment and leisure time, and time to enjoy our own creative endeavors.

Then, he began to discuss the powerful principle of yielding. When we yield, (for example in driving) we slow down to allow other cars to go forward (or stop to let them pass) and then we can move ahead. When we yield, (in the gospel sense) we allow for other things to take a higher priority in our lives for the time being, knowing full well that we will be able to go back to what we were doing in time.

Perhaps we are ready to settle down into a good book, and something inside tells us to go and contact a neighbor or friend. The book will be there when we get back. A father puts down the remote and spends time teaching a child to ride a bicycle. The TV will be there, when he gets back. A mother decides to put college on hold for a season so that she can bear and nurture children. College will be available in the future. A couple holds off going to the movies to go to the temple. Movies aren’t going anywhere.

The amazing thing about yielding is that we don’t have to put off our desires forever. Father in Heaven wants us to have rich and abundant lives! Yielding, to the promptings of the Spirit, however, will help us align our desires with His own.

A scripture that discusses this principle is about the missionary sons of Mosiah:

Nevertheless they did fast and pray oft, and did wax stronger and stronger in their humility, and firmer and firmer in the faith of Christ, unto the filling their souls with joy and consolation, yea, even to the purifying and the sanctification of their hearts, which sanctification cometh because of their yielding their hearts unto God, Helaman 3:35.

I recently listened to a talk by BYU professor, Douglas Brinley, on Strengthening Marriages, in which he began to talk about the matter of the heart. He said that good marriages are not based on counseling, but on soft hearts. Hearts that yield. Hearts that have learned not “who is right, but what is right.” For example, a spouse holds back an angry, cutting remark and prays to find a way to discuss the problem with respect and kindness for the other.

In fact, the heart is mentioned repeatedly in the scriptures, here are the number of references to the word heart per book –

  • Old Testament – 712
  • New Testament – 159
  • Book of Mormon – 394
  • Doctrine and Covenants – 183
  • Pearl of Great Price – 25

There are only two kinds of hearts to God, hard hearts and soft hearts.

Yielding softens hearts. It changes us from the inside out. It makes us men and women of Christ. It allows us to keep the great commandment, to love the Lord, God with all of our heart, might, mind, and strength (Mark 12:30), and coincidentally helps us keep the second commandment, to love our neighbor as ourselves.

Remember the goal is to become like our Savior, who said;

And ye shall offer for a sacrifice unto me a broken heart and a contrite spirit. And whoso cometh unto me with a broken heart and a contrite spirit, him will I baptize with fire and with the Holy Ghost … (3 Nephi (9:20).

Or, as Elder Neal A Maxwell put it;

The submission of one’s will is really the only uniquely personal thing we have to place on God’s altar. It is a hard doctrine, but it is true. The many other things we give to God, however nice that may be of us, are actually things He has already given us, and He has loaned them to us. But when we begin to submit ourselves by letting our wills be swallowed up in God’s will, then we are really giving something to Him. And that hard doctrine lies at the center of discipleship. There is a part of us that is ultimately sovereign, the mind and heart, where we really do decide which way to go and what to do. And when we submit to His will, then we’ve really given Him the one thing He asks of us.

This doesn’t make sense to the majority of people – all this talk about yielding, and proper hearts, and sacrifice – because the world teaches us to look out for #1, and to push and shove to be the first, and that whatever I do doesn’t matter, it’s my life, it’s my choice, don’t judge me. But no matter how much you push yourself forward, if you cross the wrong finish line, you won’t win the race.

What a hard heart will never understand is that we’re not in it for fame and fortune. We’re in it to become our best selves. To truly become Beings unbelievable in scope and power and majesty (see Doc. & Cov 121:45-46). Merely living and never yielding could never allow us to attain to this.

Besides that, in the words of the Pilgrim Song – (arranged by Ryan Murphy, 2000) –

My soul doth long to go where I may fully know the glory of my Savior.
And as I pass along I’ll sing the Christian song: I’m going to live forever.

(Special thanks to the Baylor University Acapella Choir, Dr. Alan Raines, Conductor, and youtube contributor, stephengoose, for this performance- )

It all begins with teaching our hearts to yield, and it ends in allowing us to live life more abundantly.

Happy Valentine’s Day!