Anger – What do you do with it?

Photo courtesy of MS Word Images

Last Monday night (for Family Home Evening) we had a lesson on anger.  We started by talking about emotions, what they are, and why we have them, and the fact that we need to learn to control all of them.  We focused in on anger and this scripture:

For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another (3 Nephi 11: 29).

He stirreth up the hearts to contend with anger.  WOW! We used the analogy of mixing up kool-aid to explain this concept.  If we were to put a package of purple drink mix with sugar over it and then cover that with water and let it sit, it probably wouldn’t turn the water very purple.  However, if we mix, mix, mix, purple will get all through the water.  If your feelings of anger are the purple mix, then Satan wants you always to be consumed with purple anger and so, he will mix, and stir, and get you and others really riled up so that all we do is fight!

Then we used the Mr. Roger’s Song, What do You do with the Mad that You Feel to discuss that we need to turn our anger into something constructive.  This is how we learn maturity.  We have control, that is what it means to be a woman or man.  Here is the Sheet Music, and you can see the video of him singing by following this link and clicking on videos, then songs.

Then we talked about the examples of the Savior on the Cross, Father, forgive them for they know not what they do (Luke 23:34), and the Prophet Joseph Smith who was taken out of his home in the middle of the night and tarred and feathered.  That night, he crawled home and they worked to clean him up by tearing the tar off of his skin.  The next morning, he preached a sermon on love and forgiveness to some of the same people who had mobbed him the night before.  Six were converted and baptized as a result of his ability to forgive.

Finally, we made goals for the week of what we would do to control our anger:

  • Go on a Run
  • Count to ten
  • Talk it through
  • Do art work
  • Spend some time away from each other
  • Put the toy (or other item that they are fighting over) in “time-out”

As a follow-up, when the girls have gotten mad this week, I just sing the Mister Rogers song, and then we’ve talked through the situation, rather than yelled and screamed.  It’s been a very effective lesson.  They’re not all effective of course, but this one seemed to be valuable so far. 🙂

What Do You Do With The Mad That You Feel

 

What do you do with the mad that you feel
When you feel so mad you could bite?
When the whole wide world seems oh, so wrong…
And nothing you do seems very right?

What do you do? Do you punch a bag?
Do you pound some clay or some dough?
Do you round up friends for a game of tag?
Or see how fast you go?

It’s great to be able to stop
When you’ve planned a thing that’s wrong,
And be able to do something else instead
And think this song:

I can stop when I want to
Can stop when I wish.
I can stop, stop, stop any time.
And what a good feeling to feel like this
And know that the feeling is really mine.
Know that there’s something deep inside
That helps us become what we can.
For a girl can be someday a woman
And a boy can be someday a man.

What Do You Do with the Mad that You Feel?
By Fred M. Rogers
© 1968

Johnny Lingo

Oh, what a legacy!  I LOVE this movie.  I’ve loved it since I was a kid and my Dad used to show it on our home projector (yes, I’m that old). 😉

Johnny Lingo is up, in it’s entirety on the MormonMessages Youtube channel.

You can find it here.

Don’t you just want to go and watch it now with your loved ones!  Maybe for FHE.

When I was a young girl, my brother and I were having a disagreement.  He was really mean to me, and I was quite upset.  When I later walked into the living room, he had placed pictures all around that said things like  – “Laryssa = 20 cows”.  He had hand drawn the cows.  I laughed so hard.  All these years later, I’ve forgotten the reason for the fight, but I will always remember Johnny Lingo.